why I allow my kids to eat chocolate for breakfast

It’s true.  We have total food freedom in our house.

Our four kids (under the age of 9) are free to choose what they want to eat, whenever they want to eat it.

We don’t force them to sit at the table, eat at specific times, or eat their vegetables before they get dessert.

Why?

Well you’ll have to watch the video to find out!

Warning:  This video will make you think.  It might also teach you a thing or two about stepping outside the box with your parenting.

Love Kim xo

P.S.  If you like this please remember to share it with your peeps and leave a comment below.

 

The Secret To Raising Young Entrepreneurs

This week it finally feels like Autumn!  The leaves are falling, the temperature is dropping and my cashmere sweaters have been unearthed from the back of the wardrobe.

Autumn is also a great time to teach kids about interrelatedness and systems.

Enterpreneurialism is birthed through the experience of taking a raw product and turning it into something amazing.  

So in light of fostering my kids entrepreneurial spirit, we embarked on some simple activities which enabled them to follow a process all the way from birth to creation (and the result was delicious!).

We also had fun giving my car a much needed valet, early on Saturday morning.

Not only did my car get the spring clean it desperately needed, but the kids got to earn some money to spend in iTunes.

Click here to watch the video now!

As always I love hearing your comments in the discussion below.  What was your favourite lesson from the video?

With love 

Kim xo

Kim Constable Interviews Unschooling Guru Dayna Martin

Question:
 
Does being a parent often leave you feeling exhausted and worn down?
 
Do you sometimes wonder if there is a better, more gentle way to parent that still raises healthy, happy young entrepreneurs?

I know what it’s like…

A few short years ago I was stressed out, worn down and at the end of my emotional tether.  I knew that there had to be a better way to do things, I just didn’t know what it was.
 
I couldn’t get my kids to eat healthily, bed times were challenging at best and getting them out to school in the morning was nothing short of horrible!
 
Like you, I had a dream of living in harmony with my family.  I wanted my house to be a place of laughter, joy and balance.  A place where my kids would want to come back to; where we shared and loved and trusted each other.
 
As you likely know, I’ve now made each of these dreams come true.
 
And despite all the conventional advice, I didn’t have to give up anything that was important to me to achieve it.  
 
Please know that the reason I am sharing this with you is to let you know that:
  1. I understand exactly where you are and what you’re going through
  2. I can show you exactly what it takes to get to the other side
Because the bottom line is that I’ve done it and I know that you can do it too.

Dayna Martin, has flown all the way from America with her four children to share her experiences as an international unschooling advocate.

In this interview below she shares what the unschooling philosophy is, and why she believes in its power to change the way we parent and the world.
 
To find out more about unschooling, Dayna and PPNLC, simply click on the video below or on any of the links below the video.
Click here to buy tickets for the PPNLC event this weekend
Click here to visit Dayna Martin’s website
Click here to buy her book Radical Unschooling, A Revolution Has Begun
Click here to buy Dumbing us Down by John Taylor Gatto
With love
Kim xo

How I instantly became a better parent

 Being a traditional authoritarian parent is exhausting.

I know this because I used to be one.  

I’m lying in bed with my daughter asleep beside me and the kids asleep in another bed.  

I was quietly reflecting on the day just past and it occurred to me how harmonious my life has become, since I stopped being my children’s boss.

I didn’t realise how exhausting it was trying to get my kids to do the things I wanted them to do.

It takes so much emotional energy to be the “one in charge” every day, because being in charge requires you to take away the other person’s freedom.

We don’t question it, or even think if it’s right or wrong.  It’s what our parents did, and it’s what we do too.  

Kids NEED to be told what to do… don’t they?

Children are not capable of choosing wisely for themselves… are they?

Given half the chance, kids would eat chocolate all day… wouldn’t they?

Actually no, not in my experience.

Given the freedom to choose for themselves, children make healthy choices, based on what their body or mind needs at any given moment.

They haven’t developed external rules about what’s good and bad.  

They have an instinctive trust in their bodies.

A trust that is slowly stripped away, layer by layer, by the message of the well-intended (but mis-guided) adults in their lives.

A message that tells them that they are here to be controlled and that they cannot be trusted to make good choices.

Sadly, what the parent usually means is “You cannot be trusted to make the choices that I need you to make to make me feel okay”.

Next time you feel the urge to control your child, I encourage you to stop and think for a minute.  

I encourage you to think about whether you are controlling out of a genuine danger to the child, or just to make yourself feel better.

As usual, would love to hear your thoughts.  Why do you control?  Is it possible to be your child’s boss AND friend?

Please leave a comment. 

Love Kim 

 

 

 

 

 

why school hurts children

When I am in a crowd of people, especially mothers, the way I choose to parent is very interesting and brings up a lot of questions.

People always want to know why I chose to go down this path.

The truth is that it was a journey that started many years ago, bringing me to this point.

But there was a particular incident that pushed me over the edge and propelled me into taking action.

Before Christmas I wanted to find out the boys’ thoughts on school before I made a decision about whether or not I would take them out.

I asked Corey my eldest what he liked about school and what he didn’t like.

He said he loved playing with his friends, but that he hated the actual school work.  Kai said the same.

I asked them if they liked their teachers and they both said they did.  

I asked if their teachers ever got angry and they both said they did.  

So I probed a little deeper.

Corey went on to explain how his teacher got “really really angry” at a particular boy (who was obviously very playful and  found it hard to be confined by the controlled environment of the classroom).

As he described his teacher’s “extreme anger” (which was using a stern tone to control the kids) his voice choked a little and he stopped talking, blinking rapidly.

I put my hand on his knee and said “That must’ve been really scary for you.  Please don’t hold it in and cry if you need to.”

To my horror, he burst into gut wrenching, full body sobs, letting out all the pent up emotion he’d been holding onto throughout the year and finally finding release for his emotions.  He cried for a full 15 minutes, until he literally ran out steam.

I felt so guilty I couldn’t breathe.  

What kind of mother would send their precious, 8 year old, baby boy into an environment that he wasn’t emotionally capable of dealing with?

It was my job to protect him!

What on earth was I doing?  

What could possibly make this kind of violence towards children, worthwhile?

In that moment I knew that protecting my innocent children from the violence of the world was worth more to me than any education ever would be.

I didn’t know what on earth I was going to do instead.  

But I knew I would never again (knowingly) place them in an environment that used fear based control to achieve it’s goal.

In my opinion school sacrifices the human being for the education.  

It makes education the most important value, over and above the human beings it seeks to educate.

If we fail to start to recognise this, as mothers and citizens of the world, nothing will ever change.  We need to wake up and realise what’s really going on.  

Would love to hear your thoughts and comments.  All constructive debate is welcomed from both sides.  But if you post a hateful comment, I’ll delete it.