Kim Constable Interviews Unschooling Guru Dayna Martin

Question:
 
Does being a parent often leave you feeling exhausted and worn down?
 
Do you sometimes wonder if there is a better, more gentle way to parent that still raises healthy, happy young entrepreneurs?

I know what it’s like…

A few short years ago I was stressed out, worn down and at the end of my emotional tether.  I knew that there had to be a better way to do things, I just didn’t know what it was.
 
I couldn’t get my kids to eat healthily, bed times were challenging at best and getting them out to school in the morning was nothing short of horrible!
 
Like you, I had a dream of living in harmony with my family.  I wanted my house to be a place of laughter, joy and balance.  A place where my kids would want to come back to; where we shared and loved and trusted each other.
 
As you likely know, I’ve now made each of these dreams come true.
 
And despite all the conventional advice, I didn’t have to give up anything that was important to me to achieve it.  
 
Please know that the reason I am sharing this with you is to let you know that:
  1. I understand exactly where you are and what you’re going through
  2. I can show you exactly what it takes to get to the other side
Because the bottom line is that I’ve done it and I know that you can do it too.

Dayna Martin, has flown all the way from America with her four children to share her experiences as an international unschooling advocate.

In this interview below she shares what the unschooling philosophy is, and why she believes in its power to change the way we parent and the world.
 
To find out more about unschooling, Dayna and PPNLC, simply click on the video below or on any of the links below the video.
Click here to buy tickets for the PPNLC event this weekend
Click here to visit Dayna Martin’s website
Click here to buy her book Radical Unschooling, A Revolution Has Begun
Click here to buy Dumbing us Down by John Taylor Gatto
With love
Kim xo

Power that lies hidden within you

It was about 3am in the early hours of Sunday morning.  

I woke up (probably needing to pee) and heard the rain falling in a steady downpour onto the sloping roof outside our bedroom window.

I love the rain.

It reminds me of Irish summer holidays in my Aunt’s caravan where it rained more than the sun shone and we would play endless games of pick up sticks, listening to it drumming on the thin roof above our heads.

I listened to the rain; mingled with the steady breathing of Ryan and Jack on either side of me, and Corey on a mattress on the floor.

My husband and eldest and youngest sons, all sleeping soundly; cocooned by the love and protection of our family bond.

And as I lay there, listening to rain and breath, my thoughts turned to the places in the world where mothers are lying in fear.

The places where men are beheading children and putting their heads on stakes in playgrounds.

The places where families are fleeing, mothers and fathers are terrified, and lives are being ripped apart.

And I realised again how truly blessed I am to have the opportunity to live the life that I do.

A life that has never known true fear.  

A life where I get to keep my babies close to me every single day and night.

A life where I can sleep knowing that my children will never be ripped from me and beheaded in the street.

A life that is safe.

And before I drifted back to sleep I reaffirmed my commitment to help eradicate the world of violence by eradicating it in myself.

To remember that every act of ill intent towards another, whether in thought or action, is in fact, violence.

To remember that every time I commit an act of violence I am giving permission for it to exist in the world.

To continue on my path of peaceful, gentle parenting (no matter how hard, or how much resistance I face from well intentioned friends and family) for the sake of not only my own children, but for all children; everywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pest control, worms and head lice (and that’s just the kids)

photo

Today wasn’t the “arms wide screaming with joy it’s a beautiful life” that I wrote about yesterday.

Today was a bitch.  

I was tired through lack of sleep and hormonal.

Oh, and I’ve got worms (yes really).  That’s what happens in a house of four kids under the age of 8… no one gets off Scott free (except maybe Ryan).

And I’ve only just gotten rid of my last batch of head lice.

So let’s just say I wasn’t in the best possible parenting place.

Since last week we’ve been allowing the kids to choose their own bedtimes, as part of our freedom journey.

I’ve really enjoyed this as it meant I’m much more relaxed in my own schedule.  

We’ve done things like go swimming at 5pm when I’m usually preparing dinner and we’ve eaten as late as 8pm as there’s no rush to get them into bed early for school.

But the downside is that I haven’t spent much time with Ryan.  I miss him.

My kids follow me everywhere around the house… especially Jack who’s two years old.  

Everyone wants to fall asleep beside me, and everyone wants to be wherever I am.

It’s lovely and annoying all at the same time.

So tonight I decided that it was okay to exert just a teeny tiny little bit of control, and get them into bed early.

They were tired, and we have a busy day tomorrow.  It was fine.

(You can tell this isn’t going to end well)

My four year old daughter refused to go to bed as she was watching Ben & Holly and everyone else kept getting out of bed and following me around because they didn’t want to be left out.

Ryan was peacefully watching another episode of Breaking Bad, warmed by the fire I had lit, in blissful, child free, silence.  (I’m not bitter at all)

In that moment, nothing was going the way I wanted it to go.  

I had it all planned perfectly in my mind.  The kids would be in bed early(ish), I’d be tucked up in front of a warm fire watching Sherlock with hubby, and my worlds would be perfectly aligned.

And when the reality didn’t match the dream, I got pissed off.

I remember having a realisation that if I never had any expectations, I’d never be disappointed.

(I don’t know what caused me to have such a profound realisation, but I’m sure there was gin involved.)

Tonight I had a vision in my mind of how it would go, and I wasn’t prepared to be flexible when it didn’t happen.

Inflexibility causes control, and perceived lack of control causes anger.

And being openly angry at kids, in my opinion, is the singularly most damaging thing we can do to them.

There is something wonderful about having a truly deep connection with my kids that I absolutely love.  

But there are times when I wish they’d all just piss off and leave me alone.

Freedom perhaps, then lies, in my ability to pause between stimulus and response so that I may uphold my highest values, and shape their lives for the better.

Thank you for reading my drivel.  I’d love for you to leave a comment.

Until next time…

Kim xo

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