Overcome Fear and Self Doubt

I had been working yesterday afternoon on some new Internet projects and hadn’t seen the kids much (they were with the girls who help me at home).

I’d missed them.

So when I arrived home I bounced in the door and got them all excited to go to the pool for a swim.  I quickly grabbed their pyjamas and snacks, and bundled them all in the car.

On my way Ryan called me, and I enrolled him into meeting us there too.

We try to swim at least twice a week and it’s one of their favourite activities.  Having daddy there made it extra special.

After we’d had leisurely showers, snacks and giggles we piled into the car again and drove to the local chip shop for tea.

As I sat there munching my chips with my car full of happy little people, it hit me how astoundingly easy-going my life is.

It was 7.30pm and I hadn’t one single thought about making lunches for the morning or getting the kids home to bed for fear that they would be tired in the morning.

There were no negative feelings about how child tiredness would make the morning routine harder if they didn’t get enough sleep.

There was no reason why we couldn’t sit there outside the chip shop, for as long as we wanted.  We had no one to answer to, no school to get up for and no bedtime routine.

There was only pure, unadulterated freedom.  

Every day I let go just a little bit more.  

Free from the constraints of my own fear induced control patterns, I find myself relaxing into my new life.

My heart is lighter, my tone more loving, my nature more forgiving and my patience longer.

I am grateful that I finally had the courage to go after what I believed was right.

And I am grateful to all of you, who share in my journey.

Unschooler or not, what are your most grateful moments?  Please share in the comments below.

 

Everything You Want Is On The Other Side Of Fear

But the thing that we don’t realise is that to lessen the fear, we just need to take small steps. Sure, the leap from where you are now to where you want to be may seem immense; but what about the small step that moves you just a teeny tiny bit closer? Is that scary? […]

But the thing that we don’t realise is that to lessen the fear, we just need to take small steps.

Sure, the leap from where you are now to where you want to be may seem immense; but what about the small step that moves you just a teeny tiny bit closer?

Is that scary?

What about the little itsy bitsy step after that one?

Is it scary?

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your dreams be.  Stop making excuses.  You have everything you need right now.

I believe in you. 

Now get out there and do it.

Not Achieving Your Goals? Master this One Thing and Anything is Possible

It has been said that fear defeats more men (or women) than anything else in this world.

Isn’t that amazing?  Fear is the single biggest thing that stops us from going after what we want and achieving our dreams.  Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of what others will say, fear of leaving our kids in the care of someone else, fear that if we’re not at home keeping house for our spouse that they might not love us anymore.

However, if we think about it for a minute, it’s absolutely absurd.  The dictionary defines fear as:

“An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

So fear is basically a feeling caused by a belief.  Or in other words, it’s not real.  Fear is in our minds:  it’s totally made up.

Sure, sometimes something bad might happen, and we can say “See, I was right not to do it!”.  But most of the time it’s how we rationalise not doing the thing we know is good for us; the thing that will make a difference to our lives and our families, the thing the we really would love to do if only we could admit that it scares the crap out of us.

The first step to overcoming your fear is to acknowledge it.

Admit to yourself that you’re scared and you don’t know what to do or how to do it.  Then admit it to someone else.  Stop making excuses.  You may find that if you actually own up to your fear that it lessens it.  Kind of like how things always seem better in the morning, fear seems better when you bring it to the surface.

 

 

In Pursuit of Your Dreams, Is Your Fear Controlling You, or are You Controlling Your Fear?

What is success?  Why do some people succeed and others fail?  

When I set a goal I rarely think of the consequences of not achieving it.  Why?  Because when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result.

When I started in business I always thought about how I was going to be successful, not what would happen if I failed.  Believe me there were many people around me who, through their own fear of failure, tried to warn me to be careful, or tried to get me to stop.  They wanted me to stay in my comfort zone, probably because they were scared to step outside of theirs.  Me stepping outside of my comfort zone, caused them to feel projectively uncomfortable.

I can totally understand how some people get frozen by fear of failure.  They get it from the people closest to them, or just from thinking of the possibility of a negative result.  Sometimes people are afraid of what people might think of them.

Luckily I’m not one of those people.

I realised early on in life that if you want something badly enough you need to get out there and go for it.  You cannot achieve anything by joining the tide, and being passive.  You must get out there and think of nothing else except what you are trying to accomplish.

Sure, there will be days when you will be scared and think “Am I nuts?”  or “I don’t know if this will succeed”.  

But these feelings will pass, if you don’t let them scare you into stopping.  You may think that there is something standing in your way, but really there isn’t.  What is in front of you is an opportunity to do your best and be successful.

In my mind it is better to look back and say that you tried, failed and learned than you were too scared to begin.  The world’s greatest inventions such as the telephone, the light bulb and penicillin suffered hundreds of failures before they succeeded.  What would’ve happened if their inventors had just given up?  Said it was useless?  Probably someone else would’ve succeeded instead.

So don’t let your fears stop you.  Fear is an illusion – it’s not real.  It’s all in your head.  Forget about the outcome and do what you know is right and good for you.  The only thing you can control is your own thoughts and your own actions.  So make them work for you, not against you.

Question:  Where have you overcome fear to do what you know is right and good for you?