Power that lies hidden within you

It was about 3am in the early hours of Sunday morning.  

I woke up (probably needing to pee) and heard the rain falling in a steady downpour onto the sloping roof outside our bedroom window.

I love the rain.

It reminds me of Irish summer holidays in my Aunt’s caravan where it rained more than the sun shone and we would play endless games of pick up sticks, listening to it drumming on the thin roof above our heads.

I listened to the rain; mingled with the steady breathing of Ryan and Jack on either side of me, and Corey on a mattress on the floor.

My husband and eldest and youngest sons, all sleeping soundly; cocooned by the love and protection of our family bond.

And as I lay there, listening to rain and breath, my thoughts turned to the places in the world where mothers are lying in fear.

The places where men are beheading children and putting their heads on stakes in playgrounds.

The places where families are fleeing, mothers and fathers are terrified, and lives are being ripped apart.

And I realised again how truly blessed I am to have the opportunity to live the life that I do.

A life that has never known true fear.  

A life where I get to keep my babies close to me every single day and night.

A life where I can sleep knowing that my children will never be ripped from me and beheaded in the street.

A life that is safe.

And before I drifted back to sleep I reaffirmed my commitment to help eradicate the world of violence by eradicating it in myself.

To remember that every act of ill intent towards another, whether in thought or action, is in fact, violence.

To remember that every time I commit an act of violence I am giving permission for it to exist in the world.

To continue on my path of peaceful, gentle parenting (no matter how hard, or how much resistance I face from well intentioned friends and family) for the sake of not only my own children, but for all children; everywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kim’s Blog : Using Daily Discipline To Grow Your Work At Home Business

Yoga1

I’ve just started doing my daily yoga practice through www.yogaglo.com.

This is an amazing resource.

Basically you have access to some of the best yoga teachers in the world, and can filter and tailor your daily workout based on what your body needs that day.

As I was completing my practice this morning it occurred to me that my home businesses are basically like my yoga practice.  Every day my business needs something different to keep it moving forward.

Sometimes it needs website work, sometimes sales calls, other days I need to write my blogs and submit articles to boost SEO.

The web provides an amazing array of information that will help us to get where we want to be; to give our businesses the boost that they need.  

The challenge is being disciplined (and honest) in finding what our home businesses need, and implementing it.

The beauty is that just like a daily yoga practice, if you do it often enough it’s extremely easy to identify which parts need oiled.

 

Kim’s Blog : How I Learned To Laugh On The Worst Day Of My Life

Work at Home Mums face many challenges when trying to balance work and family.  

Kids don’t often understand that if you are in your office it means you need peace to work.  They assume, I think, that as long as you are in the house, you are fair game.

Take my son Kai for example.

He seems to see the lock on my office door as a challenge, not a barrier to be respected.

He almost shrieks with joy when he finds it locked, as he knows he can severely rattle my cage by banging the door and yelling whatever question he wants answered, as loudly as possible through the wood.

On Wednesday he spent exactly twelve minutes kicking said door, while I was on a conference call meeting with America.  It took all of my will power not to open the door, pick him up by the scruff of the neck and throw him full speed out of an open window.  (Seriously, sometimes I have a very clear insight into the motivation of serial killers)

So not only did I have to control my feelings of murder in the first degree, but I had to suffer through the embarrassment of explaining my wayward child the other people on the call.  (Cause the behaviour of my kids is directly correlated to how good I am as a mother, right?)

I made it through most of Wednesday, holding firmly on to my frayed emotions, until we reached dinner time.

I had lovingly prepared a vegetable lasagne that morning, and even went to far as to blend all the vegetables so they were unrecognisable as vegetables (lest they be rejected on appearance or colour).

Every single child threw down their fork and declared the lasagne disgusting.

There’s something very disheartening about spending hours preparing a meal, only to have it unanimously rejected.

And Goddamn it, I had put four layers of pasta  in the lasagne, hoping to fool them into thinking it was kind of a spaghetti bolegnese except with flat, long, steamrolled pasta and the sauce squished in between.  What an idiot I was.

During the rejection of the dinner, accompanied by a resounding choir of screaming/complaining/whining, my daughter Maya announced that she was off to do a poo.

Experience has taught me that when Maya is left alone in the toilet, a mixture of boredom and curiosity means that she unravels every single toilet roll she can find.

So I dutifully removed them all from her vicinity and left her to it.

Five minutes later, she came running into the kitchen and performed naked from the waist, dog head down, to let me know she’d finished.  So I frogmarched her back to the loo to collect some wet wipes.

I pushed the door open and was greeted by the sight of at least four unravelled toilet rolls on the ground around the toilet.

Reminding myself to Breathe Kim Breathe I stepped over the mess and pushed the door closed behind me.

That was when I noticed what she’d done.  

She was so intent on getting to the toilet rolls (which I had removed to the shelves behind the cloakroom door) she had decided to deposit a large turd on the floor, behind the door, as she helped herself to the forbidden treasure.

As I opened the door and pushed it closed again, a large semi circle of squished poo now decorated my beige carpet, having been perfectly lodged under the door.

That was it. I snapped.

Letting out a squeal of rage, I charged into the kitchen (yelling to my husband what had happened), to collect a sponge and bucket to wash the carpet.

Of course, any time I get angry, Ryan thinks it’s hilarious and was actually bent double, snorting and clutching his sides at the sight of me running around in rubber gloves,with steam coming out of my ears.  This just made me madder.

After I had cleaned it up and deposited the (still unfed) kids upstairs to bath with Ryan, I collected a cold beer and went outside to cool off.

You would think that the tale would end here, yes?  No.

Somehow, my errant three year old managed to escape the clutches of the bath and make her way unsupervised to the kitchen.  I’m not sure exactly what was going on in her head, but when I arrived back from outside, a little calmer and mildly inebriated, I found two litres of cows milk and one litre of soya milk poured all over my kitchen floor, decorated by four coloured cups and a pair of abandoned, pink socks.

I stared, open mouthed at the mess.  I was stunned into silence.  So do you know what I did?

I laughed.

Actually that’s not true, I took a picture and posted it on Facebook, and then I laughed.

And the laughing was so liberating, that once I started I couldn’t stop.  It was almost as if the events of the day were so unbelievable – a procession of one thing after another, that by the time this happened I had no anger or frustration left.  I just accepted it for what it was, sat down at the kitchen table and waited for my husband to appear from the bath so we could laugh about it together.

I learned, more importantly, that sometimes you just gotta let go.

If you know a mum who could use a laugh, or just needs to learn to let go, please forward her this post or share it on your Facebook page or Twitter feed, by clicking one of the share buttons at the bottom of the post.

Oh yes…One more little, teeny, tiny favour…

Please will you pop on over and Like our Facebook page?

It’s sole aim is to provide a little entertainment in the lives of mums everywhere, so that you will know that you are not alone on your crazy journey into parenthood.  We aim to provide a love, laughs and entertainment.  I would love to see you there.

Click here to Find Us On Facebook

(Here is the picture of the milk)

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Kim’s Blog : 10 Reasons To Feel Joy

thank you

I was standing doing my ironing this morning, listening to the radio and thinking how happy I am.

I don’t want much from life.  I have learned from this man over the years that if I can find joy in the very simple things, my day to day existence is peppered with truly great moments.

I try to remember to be thankful every single day, for all that I am and all that I have.  When I remember to do this, life has so much more meaning, and the hard stuff doesn’t really seem quite as hard.

Over the past week, here are some of the simple things in which I have found joy:

1.  The quiet time at 4.30am when the world is sleeping, and I can do my ironing and think without distraction

2.  Watching my kids wolf down a fresh, hot batch of pancakes at our kitchen table in the morning

3.  Sharing a yoga class with my sister, then chatting over coffee afterwards

4.  Spending time with my family when we returned from Australia, and catching up on all their news

5.  My baby boy Jack, finally finding joy in walking and watching him toddling around the house on wobbly legs

6.  Watching my boys make mouse houses out of sheets and blankets, with my best friend’s little boy, who is like a brother to them

7.  Hearing 2 year old Maya say “I love you mummy, you’re my best friend” (my heart melted)

8.  Feeling one of my kids climb under the duvet beside me at 3am, and back into me for a deep snuggle

9.  Watching Ryan play with the kids, seeing their love for him, and thinking how lucky I am to be married to such a man

10.  Writing this blog every day, knowing it is being read by thousands of people the world over, and being thankful for each and every one of you that chooses to spend your time with me.

Why I Am Responsible For Sandy Hook

Like everybody else, I have been in shock recently at the tragedy that happened at the Sandy Hook Elementary School.

As a “good” person, I find it inconceivable how someone could commit such an act.  How could someone possibly kill innocent children?

Yet, if I look deep into my soul and am honest about my own propensity for violence…every time I have decided to express anger towards my husband; every time I have used my anger to control my children, I can begin to understand the workings of the violent mind.

Violence is violence, no matter how we dress it up or justify it.  

abuse

Yet we live in a world where we allow our kids to play computer games where the characters kill and maim each other; we breed animals and then slaughter them for our pleasure, because we have been taught to believe that we need meat as part of our diet.

Each of us is imperfect and each of us feels anger towards others… it’s part of being human.  The destruction comes when I decide to indulge that anger to make myself feel better, hurting other people in the process.

Is the destruction that happened at Sandy Hook worse than yelling at my children?  Of course it is.  But to say that I could never ever understand how someone could commit such an act, is to deny a part of myself.

A very wise man once taught me that the only thing I have control over in this life is ME.

Only when I stop choosing violence in MY life, will I actually begin to make a difference.  Every time I choose violence, I am giving it permission to exist in the world.  I cannot possibly blame others for doing what I continue to do myself.

There is NO compromise.  Either you want it to exist or you don’t ,and the only way to eradicate it in society, is to eradicate in yourself.  

So you want to do something about the tragedy?  To make it better somehow?  You can.  Today.  Right now.

Commit to transforming yourself and raising a more peaceful generation of society.  

You’ll be amazed at the difference you can actually make.

 

WAHM’s Note To Self: Leave Husband At Home

Day 7 of The Constable Aussie Adventure

This is the third blog post I’ve written in the last 15 minutes, and I’ve deleted the last two.

Y0u see the problem is that I’m sitting on a sun lounger in the back garden, in the dark, being dive bombed by mosquitos who think my glowing computer screen is the insect equivalent of Manumission in Ibiza.  Only when they get there they realise that not only is mosquito Manumission alive and thriving, but that there is delicious tasting Irish blood, just ready for the sucking.

So with that in mind, and because I know you wouldn’t want me to get eaten to death, I will make this fast.

Today consisted of a trip into town to do some Christmas shopping, followed by taking the kids to see Santa.  My biggest mistake was taking my husband with me.

Note to self: leave bored husband at home when shopping with four young children in town, no matter how much he thinks he can handle it.  He can’t.  

On the plus side though, the kids saw Santa, told him that they were in Australia and not Ireland for Xmas, and had a great time.  When we got back home, I filled the paddling pool, donned my bikini and drank three beers whilst lying in the sun.

Damn, life is tough.

I’m sorry that I don’t have anything more witty or funny to report tonight, but I seriously am finding it hard to concentrate with all these mosies. I promise to be a little more stimulating tomorrow…

 

 

Where The Hell Did My Sanity Go, And Can I Have It Back Please?!

So we’re all here in Australia, having a blast it must be said.  However, I have to admit to feeling a little out of the loop.

My web designers are skyping me on a daily basis, (basically asking “Where the hell are you?”) and I haven’t had hardly a minute to speak to my family due to the time difference.

On the other side though, I am LOVING spending time with my extended family.  Tonight, three of Ryan’s four siblings were here for dinner, and I cooked enchiladas.  As I speak I am sitting on the veranda with a glass of white wine, listening to the sound of the kids and the male adults playing cricket in the garden.

Last night we managed to get to 4.30am without the baby waking up, and today we went to a science museum and then the beach.

Never before in my life, have I actually enjoyed getting up at 4.30am, but at the minute I do.  It gets me up and going for my 6am yoga class, and I’ve never felt so energised and enthusiastic.

What have I learned from all this change?

That you must live life to the full and embrace whatever comes along.  If you try to control things all of the time, you’ll miss all the fun that could be had in the spontaneity of the moment.

 

Work At Home Mum On The Move: Operation Down Under

Okay so this is it:  OPERATION AUSTRALIA is nearly underway.

The hallway is filled with three large suitcases, one giant holdall, two carry on suitcases, one backpack, one shoulder bag, one baby car seat and three booster seats.

My thoroughly anal spreadsheet organisation has meant that I have packed and planned for every single eventuality.

I have even remembered to bring medicine, antibiotics, Wartner cream for Kai’s verucca (or his Veronica as Maya keeps calling it), a pair of baby nail clippers and the bottle of JUNGLE strength mosquito repellent that his been waiting to be unearthed from the kitchen cupboard for the last three years (I’m convinced the mosquitos can smell my blood as I disembark from the plane).

I am armed and equipped to deal with every pang of hunger, thirst, boredom and bodily function. (Hey, I’m not saying I AM Wonder Woman, only that we’ve never actually been seen in the same room together)

Even though we’re only going away for a month, my mum and sisters and I got really emotional when I was saying goodbye to them tonight.  Northern Ireland is so teeny tiny that we grow up practically living in each others pockets.  My sisters and mum are my best friends, and we see each other several times every week.  My absence from their lives for a month, is like surviving without a limb; you’d learn to adapt, but you’d never really feel whole and complete again.

My biggest fear is losing my mum or one of my sisters.  Even the thought of being without them fills me with dread.  I thank God that we are all healthy and happy, and I really do try to make each and every moment count.  Even though I can come across as bossy and righteous, and generally believe that I know best, they know that my heart is in the right place, and all I want is for them to be happy.

So Mum, Carole and Kerry, I promise I’ll be back soon.  Don’t do anything too fun without me please, and always remember how much I love you.

And to all my readers, who only know me in words anyway, you’ll hear more of my drivel on my blog, as I continue to report on my journey though life, motherhood and working from home (which will be Australia for the next month).

Snuggle your little ones tight WAHMies.  Love y’all.

Kim x

 

 

 

I’m A Control Freak And I Love It

In four days we are flying to Australia with our four kids, to spend a month with Ryan’s family in Brisbane.

My organisational skills have been tested to the max this week as not only have I been supervising the building of my new Work at Home Mums Network membership website (happening right here in  January), but I’ve been trying to organise and pack for me and the four kids.

Our journey starts with a two hour drive to Dublin, followed by an 8 hour flight to Dubai, with a 10 hour stop over in the airport hotel, followed by another 15 hour flight to Brisbane.  Gulp!  The sheer volume of stuff we need to bring to prepare for this travel is phenomenal.

So (assuming you’re the tiniest bit interested) here’s how I did it (starting two weeks ago):

1.  I started an excel spreadsheet with two columns for each person (one for suitcase and one for onboard case) and did a massive brain dump of everything I could possibly think of that we need to bring.

2.  I then started a “note” in my iPhone and any time I remembered anything random, I quickly took out my phone and jotted it down so I didn’t forget, then added it to the spreadsheet when I was next at my computer.

3.  Then I did a huge brain dump in my daily diary of all the business and personal things I needed to do before I leave, then scheduled them into each day in order of importance.

4.   I next worked out a menu plan of meals and bought the necessary food online, and scheduled the shopping to be delivered.

4.  I time chunked my iCalendar every day for the last two weeks, slotting in work time in the morning when the house is quiet, cooking time at lunch and packing and organising time in the afternoon.

5.  I made a list and budget of Christmas presents to buy, then scheduled when to make time to buy them.

6.  I did everything on the list.

So I am sitting here now, on Thursday morning, with all my presents bought and sorted, all the kids packing done, and all the meals planned.  I was set back slightly by an emergency dash to the Australian embassy in Dublin yesterday to renew the kids’ passports, but all in all, I’m pretty organised.

Yes I know I’m anal, and a total control freak, but I can’t help it. I actually think that I’m just trying to control the little voice inside of me screaming “Nooooooooooo!” at the thought of that amount of travel with four kids under seven.

Breathe Kim, breathe.  OOOOmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……….!  (Wish me luck)

Five Common Mistakes To Avoid When Working From Home

1.  Have a designated working time

You absolutely cannot grow a business without clearly planned working time.  If you can’t afford childcare just yet, then this must be either early morning or in the evening.  Set aside a slot of time and commit to working in that time.

2.  Make some clearly defined, but simple goals

Working in the early morning and evening, if you are not working towards something tangible, will soon leave you worn down and disheartened.  If you work five hours a week in the evenings, work out how much it would cost you to pay for five hours of childcare during the day.  Then work out how many products you need to sell or clients to serve to make this money.  This should be your first goal.

3.  Create a workspace

If you are going to work from home, you must have a work space.  It doesn’t need to be fancy: a desk under the stairs, a corner in the dining room or a small table in your bedroom would suffice in the beginning.  Having a space to work from means that you make a mental shift when you go to your work space.  It also tells your kids that when you are there, it is work time.  Clearly defined boundaries are essential.

4.  Don’t get distracted

When you are working from home it’s easy to become distracted.  The laundry is calling your name, or those few dishes in the sink need washed, or just one more cup of coffee before you begin.  If you don’t become disciplined with your work time, you’ll find it has slipped away.

5.  Treat it like a real job

It’s easy to give yourself a way out when working from home, because there is no one looking over your shoulder, keeping tabs on you.  You need to be really clear on why you are doing what you are doing.  Are you doing it because it’s your hobby and you just want to earn some extra pocket money?  Or are you serious about making a profitable business?  If you are serious about making some money to support your family, then you need to be serious about your business.  Failure is great – it’s the only way we learn.  But if you give up when you fail, instead of learning from it and using the information to move forward, you’ll never get very far with your business.