Overcome Fear and Self Doubt

I had been working yesterday afternoon on some new Internet projects and hadn’t seen the kids much (they were with the girls who help me at home).

I’d missed them.

So when I arrived home I bounced in the door and got them all excited to go to the pool for a swim.  I quickly grabbed their pyjamas and snacks, and bundled them all in the car.

On my way Ryan called me, and I enrolled him into meeting us there too.

We try to swim at least twice a week and it’s one of their favourite activities.  Having daddy there made it extra special.

After we’d had leisurely showers, snacks and giggles we piled into the car again and drove to the local chip shop for tea.

As I sat there munching my chips with my car full of happy little people, it hit me how astoundingly easy-going my life is.

It was 7.30pm and I hadn’t one single thought about making lunches for the morning or getting the kids home to bed for fear that they would be tired in the morning.

There were no negative feelings about how child tiredness would make the morning routine harder if they didn’t get enough sleep.

There was no reason why we couldn’t sit there outside the chip shop, for as long as we wanted.  We had no one to answer to, no school to get up for and no bedtime routine.

There was only pure, unadulterated freedom.  

Every day I let go just a little bit more.  

Free from the constraints of my own fear induced control patterns, I find myself relaxing into my new life.

My heart is lighter, my tone more loving, my nature more forgiving and my patience longer.

I am grateful that I finally had the courage to go after what I believed was right.

And I am grateful to all of you, who share in my journey.

Unschooler or not, what are your most grateful moments?  Please share in the comments below.

 

Kim’s Blog : There Will Never Be A Perfect Time To Start Your Home Business

ways to earn money from home

There will never be a perfect time, a perfect website, a perfect idea or a perfect job.

I met my (now) husband on January 23rd 2005.

On March 25th I found out I was pregnant.

In June 2005 I moved into his bachelor apartment.

In November 2005 our first son was born.

In January 2006, almost exactly one year after meeting, we moved into our first house together with a mortgage and an eight week old baby.

Today (March 2013) we have four children.

An even bigger mortgage.

Three companies between us.

A house full of noise, mess, love and laughter.

If we’d waited for the perfect time, we’d probably still be waiting.

And do you know what?  If I can do it (a girl from a tiny little city like Belfast, Northern Ireland) then you damn well can too.

 

Kim’s Blog : Why Your Home Business Could Fail If You Don’t Know Your Purpose

home business for kids

It’s increasingly evident to me that many mums starting businesses from home don’t take them very seriously.

But just because the stakes are lower financially, doesn’t mean that your business deserves less care and attention.  It’s a fact of human nature that the higher the stakes, the more effort we will apply.

So if you need a little motivation to get your butt into gear, just look to your kids.  Think of all of the things you could provide for them in terms of education, experiences and development, with a little extra finances.

Think how much easier life would be, if you were financially FREE.

I started my first company because I wanted my kids to have multiple languages from a very young age, after learning how the multilingual brain develops very differently than the unilingual brain.

The brain becomes more complex in nature, and children naturally become better critical thinkers and problem solvers.  I wasn’t content with the status quo of education that was available in my area.  I wanted them to have more, be more and see greater possibilities in the world than the average bear.

That was my motivation.  What I had to lose wasn’t really financial…It was so much more than that.

Once I had this information, I couldn’t go back.  Once I understood how this type of education would shape the rest of my children’s lives, I couldn’t possibly not try to give it to them.

  • I was connected to my purpose and it got me out of bed every morning.
  • It made me pick up the phone to make those sales calls.
  • It made me strategise, plan and learn. 
  • It made me go without financially, so that I could pay for my kids instead.

 

There was no sense of loss… just a sense of joy and satisfaction.

If you’re struggling with motivation to keep your home business growing, it’s time to maybe take a step back and remember why you started it in the first place.  Look for your higher reason that is beyond having more money to buy more things.

If it helps, write your purpose down and connect to it every morning.

If you liked the content of this post, please “like” our Facebook page, and share it on yours.

Thank you.  You matter to me.

(PS And stay tuned for the launch of the Work at Home Mums Network later this week)

 

 

 

My Own Foolish Games Are Tearing Me Apart

When I was younger I didn’t give a damn what other people thought of me.  

In fact, I actually went out of my to be as extrovert and shocking as possible to get attention and was brutally honest about myself to the point of embarrassment.

Youngest children in any family, usually defy their parents and siblings to get a sense of who they are, and then spend the rest of their lives continuing this defiance pattern.  This was definitely the case for me.  I grew up with an “I don’t give a damn” and a “You will NOT tell me what to do” attitude.

As an adult this has its upsides and downsides:

On the upside, I am very good at overriding any fear I have of a situation, and just diving in headfirst and testing the water.

On the downside, I am impatient and self-centred, and used not notice when my brutally honest opinions hurt other people’s feelings.

Over the years I’ve worked hard through Executive Success Programs, on transforming my limiting patterns of behaviour, so that I may become a more compassionate and ethical person.  In fact, I’m a completely different person now than I was ten years ago.

Yet, every day when I write this blog, I struggle to be completely honest; to be completely myself.

In the beginning when I started, I was honest and forthcoming.  But I got talked about, put down, judged and taken the wrong way.  It was awful.  Even though I pretended it didn’t hurt, it did.  I never intended to offend anyone, but seemingly as I talked about my life and my opinions, people got offended.

So I stopped being so honest, and became more generic.  People stopped being offended, and the talking behind my back ceased.  Life returned to normal, and everything settled down.

Yet, here I am almost 270 days into writing this blog and I feel like something is missing.  I’m trying to be myself, yet I know that I am holding back. I’m holding back that little percentage of me, that makes me unique and special – my “Kimness”. I’m scared of offending people again, and being cast out and ostracised.

Marketeer Seth Godin says that in this life you have two choices:

1.  You can conform and fit in, or

2.  You can put yourself out there and be judged

Anytime you do anything different to the “norm” people will judge you.  Our society trains people to fit in, to think the same, to act the same.

Yet, fitting in is the very thing that will stop you achieving big and being remarkable.  Cause you know what?  People don’t buy the norm and they don’t spend money on the same.

They want something different and newsworthy.  People only talk about something worth talking about.

Some people will love what you do, and some people will hate it.  And you can bet your bottom dollar that those who hate it will do their best, to try to stop you from doing it again (usually by being harshly critical in a way that is not constructive) cause they believe they need you to stop to feel better.

So I’ve made my choice:  I’m going to stop being generic, and start being Kim again.  I have a big, bold personality and I don’t know when I became afraid to show it.

Yes, I’m a little scared.

But the alternative is far more scary: living a life that isn’t true to who I really am.  That would be internal death.

 

 

It’s Not The Critic Who Counts

I found this quote on a great blog by a friend of mine, and wanted to share it with you.

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again (because there is no effort without error or shortcoming), but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions.  

He who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

Our Deepest Fear

Our Deepest Fear Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness That most frightens us. We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a […]

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us;
It’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

~ Marianne Williamson ~

Don’t Make Money Your Goal

You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.

Maya Angelou

Why Trusting Your Instincts Is One Of The Most Important Lessons In Business

I found this passage by Steve Jobs, the recently deceased founder of Apple.  I thought it was very poignant. Sometimes when we feel things aren’t going to plan, or moving in the right direction, it pays to remind ourselves of the message he brings here.  We don’t always know where the path will lead us…but […]

I found this passage by Steve Jobs, the recently deceased founder of Apple.  I thought it was very poignant.

Sometimes when we feel things aren’t going to plan, or moving in the right direction, it pays to remind ourselves of the message he brings here.  We don’t always know where the path will lead us…but we can be assured that every small step takes us closer to where we want to be.

“Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

Steve Jobs

Stuck For An Idea Or Inspiration? Try These 10 Questions To Inspire And Motivate You

Many women tell me on a daily basis that they are sometimes stuck for a bit of inspiration in deciding what they are good at.  They would love to start a business or embark on a new venture, but frankly they don’t know where to start. Yet, if you want to figure out who you […]

Many women tell me on a daily basis that they are sometimes stuck for a bit of inspiration in deciding what they are good at.  They would love to start a business or embark on a new venture, but frankly they don’t know where to start.

Yet, if you want to figure out who you really are, and what your contribution to the world could be, then you need to spend a little time getting to know yourself better.  Sure, it may be uncomfortable at times; but do you think anyone got a free ride to the top of their game?

Having what you want involves risk and discomfort.  

We are so used to living in the surface structure of our belief system, that we rarely delve deeper to uncover our true feelings on the subject at hand.  Kind of like when your husband asks, “What’s wrong?” and you immediately reply “Nothing.”

Often times, there is something wrong, but we just don’t know what it is.  But instead of being honest and admitting that we feel out of sorts but are unsure why, we numb the pain and pretend that we’re fine, when really we’re not.  We preoccupy ourselves with being busy, or we eat a chocolate muffin or drink a glass of wine, to cover the unpleasant feeling of not feeling okay.

Stepping out of your comfort zone is tough, but extremely rewarding.

Trust me, I’ve been there.  I was a stay at home mom to three young kids, beating myself up for wanting more than to be just a mom, but having no idea of how to get started on another path.  It took me a long time to decide to take that first step to starting my own business.

If you too, are struggling, and feel that you need a little inspiration, try asking yourself these questions:

  1. If you could spend your time doing anything during the day, what would it be?
  2. What do you do to relax when you are at home?
  3. What are your favourite sports or activities?
  4. Why are they your favourite?
  5. If you could make money doing it, what would you spend your time doing?
  6. If you are upset or feeling down, what cheers you up?
  7. When you’re alone and completely free to do anything, what do you do?
  8. What was your favourite childhood game or activity?
  9. What did you dream you would be when you grew up?
  10. Have there been any fears, phobias or challenges that you have overcome in your life?

A good way to use these questions is not to do them all at once.  You’ve waited this long, so a little longer won’t kill you.

Take one question, and meditate on it throughout the day.  Keep the question close by, or post it on your wall or computer screen.  Encourage yourself to think more deeply about the topic, and to really explore your belief system.

You might be surprised at what you find.

Do you have any questions you’d like to add to the list?  Or any inspiration you can share with other aspiring entrepreneurs?  I’d love to hear from you if you do.  Please feel free to post a comment below.  Both men and women contributors welcome!

 

 

A Simple Step to Find the Motivation to Succeed

I was really saddened this weekend when we received devastating news.

My cousin’s 15 year old son was walking back from the chip shop with his friend on Friday night, a mere 100 yards from his house, when a car came very fast around the corner and hit him from behind.  His dad ran in his socks down the road when he got a call from his hysterical friend.  But the car had hit him too fast, and his beautiful son died in his arms.

I have been disturbed all weekend and my sleep has been restless.  No one could have loved their children more than Michael did.  Everything he did, he did for those kids and I’ve yet to meet a more devoted father.  Every time since I’ve looked at my kids, I’ve wanted to hold them fiercely to me, to protect them, to love them, to never let go.  For to lose a child is surely every parent’s worst nightmare.

I once heard someone say that you don’t know the capacity you have to love, until you have a child.  Certainly, I never really understood how all consuming love could be, until I gave birth to my first baby.

I remember looking at Corey when I was pregnant with Kai, and wondering if it was possible that I would ever love the new baby as much as I loved him.  But of course I did, and have loved two more since.  And with the birth of all those beautiful children, I found myself.  I found my reason for living, my reason for striving and my reason for wanting to create a better world.

Until I had children there existed no motivation big enough, to push me into doing the thing I always wanted to do – become an entrepreneur and start multiple businesses.  Until I had children, my dreams were just that – dreams.  Putting them into practice always seemed too hard, too much work and too much of a step into the unknown.  

I was comfortable in my life.  And in this instance, comfort was not my friend.  In this instance, comfort kept me from fulfilling my true potential and living the life I’d always dreamed of.

The moral of this story?

Don’t let being comfortable stop you from fulfilling your potential and living your dream.  Life is short.  Life is precious.  And we never know when it will end.  Don’t be satisfied with mediocrity and don’t settle for the norm.

You know what you want to do, so what’s stopping you from doing it?  Be honest.  Don’t kid yourself.

If you can’t find the motivation within yourself then look to your children.  If you can’t do it for you, do it for them.